I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
