He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
