I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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