Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
