I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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