who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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