dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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