so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
