If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
