I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
