I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
did i just pee glitter
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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