okay pat passed out under dana's car
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
