You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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