Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No subtext here. People are naked.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
