We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
