Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
