Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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