i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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