I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
MIDGETS
????
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
