In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
