People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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