He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
