I got chris browned last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
