you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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