a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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