Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
