I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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