she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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