I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
