I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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