he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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