so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
