Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
