6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
