I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I see more hoeing in ur future
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
