Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
