i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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