im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize