We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize