It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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