ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
