I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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