I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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