i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
