***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize