How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
