Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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