Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
