i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Life is so much better after having sex.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
should my penis look like a turkey
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
