p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
