Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
