talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
organizing the empties. That sober.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
