I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
