Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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