I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
