Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
