Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just cut my nipple shaving
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
