moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
